We took a trip to the county fair this summer. The older boys and I wanted to see the garden tractor pull. We wandered around looking at the animals and exhibits, then settled into seats as the unlimited category finished their first pull. Super D was not too sure about the tractors, which was surprising because he loves tractors. All was going well until the unlimited class came up for a second pull.
Darlene decided to take the baby and Super D off the grandstands to get away from the noise, hoping Benjamin would go to sleep. All was well until the second tractor took off. Suddenly, Darlene was standing beside me yelling over the roar of the engine, “We have to go, NOW!” My first thought, we had a pullup malfunction. Lets face it, crap happens and often at inopportune times. The situation was far troubling than that. The noise was too much for Super D. All he could do was scream every time an engine roared to life.
We told the older boys we had to go home. Super D was done. Aaron, our 10-year-old, got quite upset because he wasn’t ready to go. Then it happened, he asked the question I feared would come one day.
Why is everything always about Daniel?
There it was. Six little words of frustration from a child. Six little words that cut like a knife. Six little words that affirmed what I had feared, no matter how hard we try, the other boys are not getting the attention they need and deserve.
Those six little words reminded me how important time was. They also drove home the point others had tried to make about the importance of time away from Daniel. That may sound a little harsh, but there is no other way to put it.
Those six little words told me something else. They screamed at me that I was failing as a father and a husband. I had let my family down. While I thought I was doing a decent job of spending time with everyone, I really was not. I had unintentionally made Daniel more important than everyone else. I had spent so much time with him in the last two years, I was having trouble seeing things as they really were. I had unintentionally sent a message to my boys and my wife that Super D mattered more than them.
I don’t think any of them would or could express it that way. Aaron expressed it this way a few weeks later. “You want us to go back to school because we stress you out.” Darlene admitted she felt the same way. In reality, I stressed myself out by not letting go and they took the brunt of it. I alienated those closest to me without realizing it.
Thoes six little words I had dreaded have become six of the greatest words ever spoken to me. They have rewritten a story line which should not have been written to begin with.
What a blessing it is to know, even though I dropped the ball as a father and husband, they love me and are quick to forgive.
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. – 1 Peter 4:8
Life With Super D! 